How To Fix “Glee” (Beyond the Compulsory “More Jane Lynch” Suggestion)

Glee has been taking a slow march to Grey’s Anatomy-ville, becoming more and more of a minefield of cringe-worthy moments with every episode since the stellar pilot.  After last night’s offering of random one-episode pairings, a neutered Sue Sylvester, and horribly embarrassing musical numbers (never, ever “Bust A Move” again, Matthew Morrison), here’s how to improve the show before it becomes a lost cause.

  1. Take Away Mr. Schu’s Dancing Shoes. Every time Matthew Morrison starts to boogie on down, I start to die a little inside.  He has a nice voice and he manages not to embarrass himself outside of the glee room as an actor, but he dances like he’s the whitest man on the face of the earth.  Also…
  2. Remove Mr. Schu’s M.C. Credentials. I’m not sure why Mr. Schu is the de facto Glee rapper, but he is.  I’m also not sure why it’s appropriate for a teacher to sit next to his female student and give her the Ogle Eye while singing the lyrics, “You wish you could sex her,” but apparently in Glee World that’s A-OK too.
  3. The Rachel Character Needs a Re-Boot. Lea Michele has a gorgeous voice and she’s super cute, but her character (or the way she portrays her character) is all over the map.  One minute she’s super Type-A, Reese Witherspoon in Election.  The next minute she’s a sweet little innocent dweeb like Sandy in Grease (who’s suddenly making goo-goo eyes at Mohawk even though she’s hung up on Finn).  I wish they had played up the sinister, take-no-prisoners side of Rachel for a good portion of the season, only to give her a softer side later on (a la Logan “Nom Nom Nom” Echolls from Veronica Mars).  It would’ve been much more satisfying.
  4. Stop It With the Over-Produced Musical Numbers. Maybe I’m missing the point on this one, which is entirely possible, but I can’t stand it when the kids (and Mr. Schu) break into song in the glee room and suddenly have a full chorus of backing vocals and slick auto-tune and professional band.  I understand that some moments call for the big production value, but not when they’re just practicing spontaneously.  It’s glaring and laughable (but maybe that’s the point?).
  5. Make More of the Appropriate Over-Produced Musical Numbers. When a moment truly calls for a big musical moment, I’d love to see the show go whole hog with it, kind of like the music videos on Flight of the Conchords.  I want to see parodies of other musicals or music videos, plus fabulous costumes and sets.  Do it up, Glee.  Stop wasting time and money on the rehearsal songs and use the cash to glam up the big moments.
  6. Drop the Stupid Pregnancy Plotlines. I don’t think anyone would care if all of a sudden no one was pregnant or pretending to be pregnant.  This show is full of inconsistencies anyway.  Why not use one to the show’s advantage?

What else should the Glee Powers-That-Be do to heal the show?  Or am I totally off-base and the show is perfect as is?


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